:::::posted by erratic :: 05-something PM EST linky
Saturday, October 27, 2001
I do my daily hotmail check to clean out all the spam. There really isn't anything else that goes to that account anymore, but, just in case, I maintain it anyway.
Once in a while, it's worth it.
Fifteen new messages, fifteen unsolicited ads for crap I never new I didn't want. Free credit, lose weight, meet someone today! Apparently I am broke, fat, and socially inept.
Then the payoff...and this is a direct quote:
++>Attract Men with Bigger Breasts! (6994)
Far be it from me to declare myself an expert on women and what they are looking for, since the few times I have dared to believe I understood them resulted in repeated surprise (good and bad). So, I have learned to only have an inkling of a suspicion of how they tick.
Mostly, that is. But I digress. I am teetering on launching into a topic I do not have the time to discuss at the moment. Perhaps another post.
Anyway, I am pretty sure most women aren't looking for men with bigger breasts. I know that I have never once had a female wistfully suggest that I would be better off with boobs (permanently attached to me, that is). Perhaps I haven't had an open enough relationship to discuss such things, but I don't think so.
Moreover, I can't think of a single man who wanted them for himself. Oh sure, we may make some jokes about never leaving the house if we were endowed with our very own set of double-D's, but the reality of such things is, at best, humiliating.
Think about Bob and his man-boobs in Fight Club. I believe that's pretty close to reality. I don't recall him getting any chicks, either.
As for Marilyn Manson, well, they're not real. I wonder if that affects women the same way as men?
I do know a few males that could use some lift and separate in their top-frontal region, and none of them are what I would be consider babe-magnets. At least, not because of that. I don't know that any of them have ever declared how happy they are with cleavage, either.
Well, not to me they haven't. Maybe there is this immense mens' movement that I am oblivious to?
And yes, I am totally aware that the ad is supposed to convince women that getting men is simply a matter of increasing the size of their *own* mammaries, but the English language is such a tricky beast when it comes to modifiers, is it not?
"Attract Men! Get bigger breasts!" is one of dozens of variants that actually make sense, and while I can honestly say I enjoyed the laugh I got from the initial subject line reading, I am now stuck with the disturbing mental image of Meatloaf sporting a set of headlights and it isn't going away.
I need to sleep sooner or later. Eeesh.
For the record, I did not follow the link, either. I know they log referrers to see if the spamming is working, and I won't give them the satisfaction.
Besides, what geniuses thought that a poorly worded random email was the best way to convince anyone to buy whatever scam they are pushing? Does anyone really fall for this stuff???
Perhaps they're the biggest boobs of all.
:::::posted by erratic :: 11-something PM EST linky
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
I am sitting at my desk, printing hi-resolution digital images of my daughter onto extraordinarily expensive photo paper for family and friends. She just turned 6 months old, and she is a total doll, from my highly objective viewpoint.
I am trying to stave off the nagging question of what sort of world she is coming up into.
Yes, there are terrorists. Truth is, there have been all along. None of them have ever gotten so far into our collective psyche, though.
I am beginning to wonder if they've already won.
Yes, the buildings that I wrote about are in ruins. Everyone is freaked out about getting Anthrax with the Visa bill. People are afraid to fly places, travel to certain parts of the world, or generally congregate.
People are willing to give up freedoms if it means more security.
Sorry people, but wrap this party we call America up if the trend started by H.R.3162 continues.
At the time of this writing, however, I am not really sure just what H.R. 3162 says, so I am only going on the reports of the bill. Third hand information distilled down to a sound bite, and buried under a heap of Anthrax articles. Unfortunate events befallen 3 dozen people obscuring an unfortunate event that will befall 250 million. Something stinks.
The text of H.R.3162 has not yet been received from GPO
Bills are generally sent to the Library of Congress from the Government Printing Office a day or two after they are introduced on the floor of the House or Senate. Delays can occur when there are a large number of bills to prepare or when a very large bill has to be printed.
Lovely. So this thing could be signed into law before we see what it actually is? Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that this unavailability isn't an accident?
The AP did run a story or two about it though, so let's see what we can glean from that, eh?