Remember the days gone by, when doing battle was an honorable thing? Vanquishing the wrongs against your person or humanity elicited a swift and just response?
Oh how I miss those days.
Rather than attempting to retrieve and reset the nuclear launch codes from Norad using a crystal radio, I decided to take on the daunting task of changing the name on my cable bill.
Next time I'm going for the nukes.
Through a chain of events far too complex to detail here, I found myself with cable service that was delivered to my house, but not billed to my name. In my extreme na´vetÚ, I honestly believed that I could head off television and Internet exile with a phone call. Why I believed this was possible is something that I still am not sure about, however the fact that the modem has been running for several months now lulled me into a false sense of trust....trust of competence that, deep down, I know is not there.
"Sir, your cable is scheduled to be disconnected. Are you saying that you would like to change the order?"
"Yeah, that's what I am saying"
"Unfortunately we cannot move the account into your name, however we can set up a connection order for a new account."
"OK, can you arrange it so I have no interruption of service?"
"No, we cannot actually schedule a connection until the old service has been disconnected."
"OK, just so I have this straight...you are telling me that in order to keep the service I have now, I need to wait for you to come here and disconnect it so I can reconnect it again?"
"Yes, that is what I am saying."
"Do you have any idea how moronic that sounds?"
"I'm sorry sir, that is how we must handle it."
After talking with a supervisor for nearly an hour, hand delivering a letter and showing two forms of ID, they graciously decided to allow me to keep the service I already have, that has been continuously paid for. How fucking benevolent.
I'm gonna nominate them for a Nobel. Yes I am.
There is a sport where the participants hit each other as hard as they can with foam covered sticks. I need to find a place nearby that hosts that sport. All the better if you can slip off the foam.
Then I'll challenge the Comcast accounts department to a match. I think it would do everyone involved a world of good.
:::::posted by erratic :: 03-something PM EST linky