Wednesday, May 15, 2002

I've seen versions of this before, although this latest flavor, straight from my own boss, has been updated to include some of the more recent episodes that have taken place here on Earth.


It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, "Patrick Henry, 1775." He said.

"Very good! Who said government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"

Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glared and demanded "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!" and Suzuki said:

"Arthur Andersen, 2002."
:::::posted by
erratic :: 07-something AM EST linky

Monday, May 13, 2002

"There's a lot of lessons here and they're all really apparent"
:::::posted by erratic :: 06-something PM EST linky

Thursday, May 9, 2002


While driving up the Turnpike this morning, I passed the multi-message sign that has 8 or so pre-canned advisories for we vigiliant motorists. Today was "Congestion Ahead - Slow Down." I've seen this one several times before and each time I think the same thing: SLOW DOWN?!?! What the fuck do they think is causing the congestion? It should say "Speed Up"

I listen to the radio when I drive into the City, and occasionally I hear commercials for various Supermarkets who all claim the same thing: Incredible savings with their circular coupons. Excuse me, I've checked, and every damn one of those coupons is rectangular.

At some point in the past year, it became completely natural to pay $4.50 for a cup of coffee. I don't know how this happened, but it did. Coffee actually costs more than cigarettes, now. Damn you, Starbucks. Damn you.

:::::posted by
erratic :: 06-something PM EST linky

Wednesday, May 8, 2002

* Warning - Technical crap to follow *

It turns out that certain functions of Windows NT/2000 read a number such as "08" as an octal. This is really interesting since "08" is not a valid octal number.

Nor is it an accident that I discovered this problem on 05-08-02.

August 8th, 2008 is going to fail spectacularly. Luckily I will be long gone for that.

More importantly, I will be likely brought in at an exorbitant rate to fix the problem.

Computers can be pretty cool, sometimes.

* End geekness *
:::::posted by
erratic :: 05-something AM EST linky

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© John McCabe, 2000
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